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on Mar 12th 2001, 12:26:54, the old pirate wrote the following about

face

I was so ugly as a child that my mother diapered my face. She took me everywhere just so she wouldn't have to kiss me goodbye. I didn't just get hit with the ugly stick – the whole flippin' tree fell on me from 20,000 feet. I wasn't even allowed to enter the Ugly Man Contest at the state fair. No professionals, they said.
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