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Al Pachinko, fading toughguy movie star of generic slavic descent, found himself alone at night more and more often as his hair thinned and his waist thickened. It happens to a lot of guys, but Pachinko had thought somehow he'd be spared. Had he not starred opposite the luscious and lovely Lola, rescuing her from the sadistic grip of Rimm Grieper just in the nick of time, thereby earning her sweet and sweaty favor, audience acclaim, and what was then a record per-film salary for his next 2 movies?
alas they were failures. it was not long after the second was declared DOA that his hair began to fall. Soon after that, a long-dormant fondness for kielbasa, piroshkes and dumplings reasserted itself, with predictable effect on his waistline. Now he's offered are roles for old fat bald guys, and he'd rather die.
Sooner or later, of course, he'll get his wish.
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