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I suppose that some find the word 'random' beautiful, because it seems to contain the allure of a certain type of unconventionality or even freedom in it. I, however, can remember exactly when I began to regard the word as terrifying. It was when I was suddenly diagnosed, as a young woman with two very small children, as having a life-threatening illness. I knew the drugs didn't always work (when do they?) and could see absolutely no purpose of pattern in it. The possibility of a completely random early death...That I survived is irrelevant to this particular frightening discovery....
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