Germany

Thirty years ago, one was not considered truly educated, especially in the sciences, if one did not speak German. Today German is still a fine language, but – like Danish, Dutch and Greek – spoken only at home among friends, being replaced by ubiquitous English.

Germany came to the English Midlands this Christmas – in the attractive and traditional form of the Frankfurt Christmas Fair in the centre of Birmingham. Now, why on earth weren't Goering and the Luftwaffe thinking along similar lines sixty years ago...Think of all the decades of friendship and mutual admiration that we missed as a result of mistaking the efficacy of Xmas decorations and lovely warm gluehwein for that of cold bombs and rockets.

in germany there are hedgehogs. they are called igel, they eat currywurst from the streets, (not the igel) but the man. in germany there are many kinds of small bread called broetchen. they have seeds and sometimes are tied in knots. in germany the strawberries are really good. in germany there are many kinds of beer. and spargle grows in the spargle season. it gets longer each time i go there. don't forget to peel it. in germany, it is all about meat. meat meat meat and no mustard. people are very open minded and all love each other with selfless passion.
in germany some people don't eat vegetables. in germany it is ok to have gingerbread on your wurst at christmastime. in germnay you can also burp and people don't think that is particularly rude. in germany there is quite a bit of accordian playing, but they don't like to admit it. in fact, some people run away from the street side accordian players. in germany there are many people who say oh, i can't speak english, but do so perfectly. in germany you can eat a lot of good food, and gain a lot of weight. in germany you can stay slim by biking and walking everywhere as there are many sidewalks and bikeways to accomadate that lifestyle. in germany artists are considered very important people, unless you are a painter. there are not many painters in germany at this time. in germany you can live up north and not wear lederhosen. in germany you can live in bavaria and not say tschuss.
in germany there are many different small cars such as smarts and twingos. neither of these however are made in germany. they also are rarely found in the left lanes of the autobahn. in germany i found love.

I was a young lad, American, in 1940. I grew up with the propaganda. I grew up believing what I heard. I grew up frightened of anything Japanese or German. Then I spent six months in Japan. My fears went away. I did not find Japanese. I found people. They are not much different than my neighbors at heart. I have met many Germans here in my country. But that is not the same. I must visit Germany. I expect to find what I believe is true. I will find no Germans, just people like myself, carving out a life in a particular corner of the Universe. There is no such thing as a sinister people. Only temporarily misled people. I spent a large part of my life being misled. I am changing that now. Long live the human spirit!

how many germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
none. they march into poland and make them do it

If Germany did not exist, one would have to invent it....How on earth could we do without Beethoven, Goethe, Weltanschauung, Blitzkrieg, Ersatz, '66, Munich 1-5....?? No, only joking, dear friends in Germany!!