Telephone

When I was a kid, the telephone stayed in one place; it did not follow you around the house. I want to know where my appliances are at all times, thank you. I am not ready for that Trilogy of Terror moment.

The telephone is the greatest nuisance among conveniences and the greatest convenience among nuisances.

Why is it that the wrong number on a telephone is never busy?

Lots of things have opposites. I don't think »Telephone« is one of them.

Eno H. Pelet

i got woken up by a phone call one morning, and it was this guy trying to get me to buy something, or submit my identity for some corporate rapine, or maybe he just had the wrong number. anyway, i hung up on him, and got a call from this girl i wasn't dating at the time who just wanted me to know that she was right outside my door, it was locked, and she wanted to come in and use the phone. i wasn't awake enough to understand wit, so i just got up and let her in. she said she liked my boxers.

I have a cellular telephone.
My company pays for it. Otherwise, I would not have one.
I abhor it. My wife says that it's a great thing to have, but I think that
people have gotten along fine without them for thousands of years.
Napoleon got along fine without a cel phone...well, he probably could
have used one at Waterloo...bad example, but I NEVER use it when I am
in the car, because that's just fucking insane.

Hearing some voices on the phone can cause ineffable happiness and excitement. Only the conversation afterwards often fails to live up to the opening moments of ecstasy. Could we invent a machine that, when necessary, transmits significant silence?